Happy First Birthday Babylove

 

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Tarpaulin layout for her first birthday party… can’t wait… 🙂

It’s been a year that the Lord has blessed us with a priceless present – our daughter. Thank you Lord for giving us insurmountable joy and flashes of pure affection. We praise your name!

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a pretty little Cronut cake 🙂

Happy First Birthday, Sydnee Elise!

Super Excited

Time flies so fast. Whatever is lost can’t be taken back… impossible to catch again. I miss some important days and events in my daughter’s growing up but there’s no point to be gushy at the moment so I decided to plan a party for her first birthday – that’s twelve days from now. So close and yes that’s how close I am to coming home for her too. I’ve actually planned the party weeks ago and created DIY decors, party hats and some other stuffs for children and adult games to make the gathering even more fun. Also, I contacted someone for the design of her cake and to pre-order one for her. It’s gonna be a blast since it’s my daughter’s and husband’s birthday together.

 

I recall this time last year, I prepared stuffs for her arrival and now I’m preparing DIY decors and party bits and pieces for her first birthday. Can’t wait to get home and start decorating for the event… just few more days and I’ll be home.I promised to myself I will never leave my daughter again!

This song, Going Home, is just right for the moment and happening of my life. God is so amazing for giving me another try!

I’m staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I’m going to the place where love
And feeling good don’t ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel’s a different kind of pain.

Well I’m going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I’m not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don’t regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I’m going home.
Well I’m going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I’ve not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love remains true.
And I don’t know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I’m going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I’m not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don’t regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,

Be careful what you wish for,
‘Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don’t want.
Be careful what you wish for,
‘Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I’m going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I’m not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don’t regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old,
So I’m going home.
I’m going home.

Daily Prompt: Frame of Mind

If you could paint your current mood onto a canvas, what would that painting look like? What would it depict?


I love what I do, but I resent what I see

Struggling to free from dilemmas that surround me,

negative thoughts that kill my sanity

So when before me, choices were laid

Which makes me angry or makes me happy?

I made myself free, I decided

Get back to life, smile and peace

I chose home and family

There I see a canvas of a contented me

I Survived Last Week

Behind the smiles are mixed thoughts and repressed resentments due to work-related disappointments. This term, I’m having a very stressful workload, very headstrong classes and if I’m allowed to say worsening system. Everyday, I get up and always pray that there will be a miracle to get me through the day. Mid-week I’m almost voiceless and almost ready to break. But there is no choice rather to move on. When Friday has finally come, it’s a huge relief!

It is not only students that I need to deal with but also person above me and co-workers. To be honest, I have an attitude that seriously needs complete  overhaul when it comes to seeing fake smiles in the hallways, overdone bows and insincere greetings… and it would be a monumental progress if I could reciprocate the same stupid smirk and acts but I’m a lousy actor… besides fake smiles and black suit don’t suit! Glad it was Friday, slim chance to see another “fake-dness” the next day! I hope things get better after the weekend…

On Thursday, the school had the “wan wai kru” or Teachers’ Respect Day where students offer flowers to their teachers as a show of their respect. For me it was just a literal “show of respect”. I know I am ranting. It is because I hate all shows with no substance. Although I was glad to get some flowers from them who vowed to be good and do better in class. I expect them to keep their promises but knowing teenagers… no fun without noise, laughter and misdemeanors! Not all of them are rowdy but sad to say only very few I’m happy with. I know they’re still young and there’s plenty of room for improvement. I hope I see them grow fine and responsible people one day. In my mind it wasn’t flowers that I need. I need the real meaning of respect but my heart is too enervated to voice out the essence of what they’re doing. Besides I can’t do the change alone, it must start from the system because we, foreign teachers, are just waiting and willing to take part. But…

The reason why I’m quitting from the job is not because of the students or their misbehavior. I can deal with them for it is normal for an adolescent to be impulsive and hyperactive. It is a combination of getting tired of the system that I’ve accepted for 8 years, change of management and caught in between management politics and a few more. Then there’s my daughter who needs me and who is now under my mom’s care because nobody can take care of her during the day when I work. I guess things pile up and give me more than enough reasons to give up so that I can carry on a life with my family and daughter…I have a feeling it’s gonna be precious!

I pray that the following days will be bearable for all of us so that I can keep a happy memory when I depart from this job… I have great memories with elementary and kindergarten students already… I hope to get one from high school department. 😀

The Daily Post: Right to Brag

 

I am proud to say that for the first time in eight years of teaching, I accepted my current task without complaints 😀 I survived too in my daily challenges of teaching impulsive and headstrong adolescents.

Life was a little easier with a working space like this…
but it gets tougher with a working station like this… These books are from one class of 49 students…had to mark 4-6 pages each. Books and notebooks of another 12 classes with 30+ students are hidden… 🙂

Yes, I complain a lot. But this time I prefer silence for moaning gets me nowhere. Besides I only have less than 2 months to work like these. After that I will be a full-time mother. And the decision to give up teaching and be a full-time homemaker is the proudest and toughest thing I’ve made these days.

Sydnee at 8 months
Sydnee at 8 months

Most importantly, I’ve never been prouder in my life for having this little girl! She’s the best decision we’ve ever made.